So this is what it's like!

For a long time a large portion of my virtual and in real life friends have been trying to encourage me that maybe being a stay at home mom is NOT for me and that maybe I should start working.

Don't get me wrong, I have loved the past 3 years of being a stay at home mom, but I was definitely in a rut and needed some change. Oded still can't find a nursing job, and over the summer lost his job in the deli, and we had ZERO income. This has not been easy on us but we have been dealing with it.

I went upstate to the bungalow colony for the summer to save us money. Up there we didn't have to pay any utilities, so we saved a NICE chunk of money. Being in Brooklyn over the summer cost about $500 a month for the electric just to keep the rooms at a comfortable temperature.... Make a long story short.... Emily's Occupational Therapist (who she was on vacation from for the summer) texted me in middle of the summer asking me if I was looking to work. Her husband, a CPA who had worked for a big firm till now, was going out on his own, and he needed a competent person to help him start and setup the office, from the ground up. I went on the interview, and it seemed to be a dream come true. A decent salary, a VERY understanding boss(sensitive to the needs of a working mom), and a field I have always liked (I did bookkeeping for a long time). sooooo fast forward a month and I am now a full time+ working mom.

I work 6 days a week which is really tough on the kids, but Oded has switched roles with me and is now a stay at home dad.

I still have to do the cleaning, but he really is great with the cooking and laundry (my two least favorite things).  I like working, I like my boss, I like my job, I like that we are FINALLY paying bills and not just fielding phone calls from creditors, but I don't like that at the end of the day I get home and have 2 EXTREMELY clingy children, a kitchen that looks like a tornado, and a living room and dining room that looks like toys r us blew up. But working has made me enjoy the weekends. I find I have more patience to deal with the kids. I actually sit and play with them, not just watch them play. Overall I think I like being a working mom...... Problem is once Oded gets a job, I will need to go to part time, or hire a nanny..... I guess only time will tell, but for now I can truly say I am happy :)

Thank you to all my friends who gave me the courage to start working. You were right..... Being a working mom seems to be a MUCH better fit for me.

What Matters!

It has been a long time since I wrote anything but a blog post I read tonight got me inspired.....

http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/what-matters-is-my-kids

If you drop in when I am not expecting you, chances are what you will be greeted with is a sink full of dishes, dirty bottles and sippy cups strewn about, a high chair and booster with something that resembles food caked on them, and an obstacle course of toys from the doorway to the living room. A desk piled high with papers, and god knows what, and a couch covered in clean laundry waiting for it's turn to be folded. A mountain of laundry in the kitchen next to my machines waiting for a wash, and kitchen counters with "stuff" (mail, cereals, etc.....) covering them. A dining room table covered in stuff needing to find a permanent place. If you decide to be brave enough to venture upstairs, you will find carpets that haven't seen a vacuum in I don't want to admit how long, bathrooms that have not have a full good scrub  down in.....3....4....5... maybe 6 months? And a guest room that resembles a combination of a storage room that blew up, a clothing store that vomited everywhere, and an office that hasn't seen organization in well... for as long as we have lived here.

This is the raw honest truth of how we live...... My house is far from perfect.... but my life is happy. I have a sign in my kitchen that says "A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen..... mine is delirious" It really is true. In my living room I have a sign that says "My house was clean last week... sorry you missed it" That also is so true, but maybe last year would be more accurate.

But this is what matters!!!! Having FUN with my kids!

I feel myself apologizing to people when they come over saying "sorry for the mess but the kids have been sick...... or it's been a hectic week".... but why do I feel the need to constantly justify it? Isn't it enough that I have 2 kids 15 months apart that I for the most part care solely for? I don't know why I have this image in my head that my house should be impeccable, my children always neat and put together, and a fresh made balanced dinner on the table every night.

Well tonight.... for me I decided it was more important to take my kids to the park since the weather was not freezing, and give Oded some quiet time to study.

I could have turned on the TV, and kept them busy while I cleaned, did laundry, and what not.... but this is what was more important!

 These smiles are what matters!

After the park I went out for Pizza, The main picture on this blog was taken at the pizza store.  I had such a great time, and they both behaved really well! Nathan ate his pizza and fries, and Emily enjoyed her first pizza crust and some cheerios!

So now they are sleeping, and I should be cleaning up, but instead I am sitting here eating the cold french fries I brought home from the pizza store.

I wish I could just not be so hard on myself!!!!! Emily's physical therapist is coming in the morning and I feel as if I need to quickly clean up and have this place in tip top shape! I know logically it's not what matters... but why can't I really FEEL IT! Emily's progress in PT has been going AMAZING because instead of cleaning during the day, I am working with her, and doing the exercises I need to do with her. Her therapist is astounded every week with her progress.

So if you come by... don't be in shock at the state of my house........ I will try not to make excuses..... because I am prioritizing what matters.... and to me...... it's this brilliant boy

 and this divalicous!

Thanks for reading!